I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
