Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
