Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
