shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
