Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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