pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
