you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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