Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also, beer. Big fan.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
