Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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