I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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