Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
