Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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