i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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