"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
