It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
