please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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