i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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