Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
