No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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