I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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