THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
