His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize