Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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