maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
