Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
