My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize