My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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