Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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