respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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