I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
