Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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