also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
