So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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