Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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