Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
