The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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