Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize