I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
