I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
