1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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