Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
