the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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