Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize