is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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