she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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