He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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