I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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