im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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