either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
