I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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