Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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