this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
