Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
