areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.