So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.