dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
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I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk