I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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