dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
