The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
