yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is my gift to your gina
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
