If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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