did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
