Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
