I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost the right to judge tonight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
