why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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