yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
